SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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