My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
