My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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