What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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