Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I look better un-naked...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
