Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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