do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
