A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
