this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
