you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
