Kareoke will never be a sober sport
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
