my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
