the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
