hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
