This is not my ceiling
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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