Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
