She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
