Jerry, you need to find god
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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