do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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