11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
