i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
