Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
