I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
