Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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