so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
