So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
