fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
