Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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