I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
