Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
