Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
