We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
