I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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