i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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