I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
