Whoa Z and x make the same sound
accomplished twins. life is a go
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
