Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
