the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
