I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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