Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
