I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
