You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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