drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
