She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
