I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
