Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
