is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
