i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just invented taco cereal.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am one with the molecules
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
