i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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