Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
