is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
