Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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