Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
