So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Randomize
