Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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