Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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