Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
