wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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