Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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