okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, beer. Big fan.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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