May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
